Bismillah,
It is quite embarassing when some of my blogging friend called me (now I’m running a cloth diapers online shop) and they heard my child screaming, crying whatsoever. If they can see they will find my ear is red enough (my skin is dark…so I won’t get blushing ha ha…). Well, that is what we call kids. They only think that everything is about them and how they feel until they are taught how to share.
Well actually worrying about what others think during this situation is simply going to stress us and make us feel worse. Kids won’t have their tantrum once in their life so, how will we as a parent can cope with it? Plus if you are a WAHM, you will face this almost all the time!! So, we have to share how we handle their tantrum. I start first okeh!!
- Ignore – hihi..what a ‘pekak badak‘ mum my kids have. I’ll first ignore their tantrum if they ask for something I can’t give. Let say they want to eat junk food that was shown on the TV (urgghh…I hate TV for this), I’ll first say, “No darling, I will not buy that for you. It is not good for you and got ulat inside.” If they understand, so OKlah but what if they don’t? They will start squirming on the floor screaming for that ulat things! Then I’ll continue to say, “No..never..cannot…bla bla” and lastly they will get the hint and finally stop screaming. Pheww…but this please don’t use this tactic in public, people will say, “What a pekak mummy that the kids have!!!”
- Avoid instant gratification – I will definitely say no to something that not good to them. Even they throw their tantrum when they are denied, I will simply tell them ‘no’ and keep moving. Some parents give in to keep their child quiet but this will only make they understand that tantrum will change from ‘no’ to ‘yes’.
- Don’t get angry – ops this is not my prime technique. I am the one who easily get angry . But I really study my kids situation, every time they scream and later my loud speaker voice comes out, the situation will be out of control wildly. I’ll end up crying (this make my husband want to find a maid for me). But I always see my husband use the same calm voice when they are behaving and it is magically effective. Owh, he teach me how to cool down, I have to take a deep breath and selawat before I console them.
- Don’t forget their nap and eating time – they will get punchy when they get tired and hungry. So, this is a big thing to take care off.
- Be consistent in your punishment – to the mistake that they do at the public and at home, to the things that you always say no but they still want it. This is why we have to control our temper so that when we get angry, it will be the same in the house or in public.
- Praise them when they behave well – kids will behave badly just to get some attention. Don’t wait until they show their tantrum just to get your attention. When they behave well, thanks, clap, hug and praise them. You’ll find positive reinforcement is better than negative. They will find that is no need to scream or do anything bad just to get our attention.
So, how did you handle your kids??
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Pija, I do salute you seeing how you handle your 4 little kids with the state of health you are in now.. Hadiff alone is already handful for me to handle..
.-= Rozy´s last blog post ..FiNaLlY HaDiAh kU sAmPy jUa!! =-.
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sitisifir10 Reply:
January 25th, 2010 at 1:42 PM
Rozy, you have to see how ‘mad’ I am when they didn’t do what I ask…and after that, u’ll forget the salute word to me
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hu3…. eb tgh mengalaminyer… tapi abah aerish selamba jer bobop dier…. ;(
TQ for the tips…
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sitisifir10 Reply:
January 25th, 2010 at 1:44 PM
Hihi….saya guna teknik yang pertama the most…so, do imagine how ‘like-pasar-scene’ inside my house…hehehe…
*tapi time diorang baik, sangatlah daku suka
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how i handle my toddler’s tantrum???
most of the time, this is Mr Hubby jobs. Mr Hubby garang n me a little bit calm.
do read here on my blog post how Mr Hubby handle his toddler’s tantrums.
http://www.kambingbujang.com/2010/01/how-to-handle-earthquake-of-amirul.html
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sitisifir10 Reply:
January 25th, 2010 at 1:46 PM
Huda, that’s cool…
I like this word ‘The only remedy to ease my work-related stress is to see my Amirul’s face’
Sedar tak, melihat kita melihat mereka juga satu perlambangan bahawa anak2 juga disayangi dan dihargai oleh kita.
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agree with rozy! 4 kids n another one coming – ur a supermom! and i strongly agree part about jgn give in to their tantrums bcoz betul, then they will know this is how they can get what they want.
in public pun most of the time i ignore my boy’s plea – tak kisah la org tgk or wonder whats happening bcoz if the person yg tgk tu a MOM, they will definitely UNDERSTAND!!
also agree with consistency of punishment. and not only consistency but agreement between a mak & bapak too! if mak dah set no icecream at night, bapak pun kena agree no icecream at night! hihihi
.-= syigim´s last blog post ..CUTEST BABY OF THE PLANET 2009 – FINALIST =-.
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sitisifir10 Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 11:40 AM
ahaha…to me no icecream at all…
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I’ve tried all of the things u’ve listed. but when it comes to controlling my own temper, I do fail sometimes. huhu
.-= temp. housewife´s last blog post ..What do you think of this building? =-.
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saya takda ilham lagi. because is only 9 months old. but we are practicing this as early as we can.
bila adam cuba nak buat something or to get something yang kita tak mau bagi, i will try to avoid the word NO. tapi macam susah lah sebab nak cari ayat pengganti to NO kan. Jadi nya, everytime cakap no, kita orang akan eksplen the reality why it is a NO. tak kisah la dia faham ker tak tapi harap2 esok beso dia paham lah. tapi so far dia tak mengamuk lepas dah melangut tengok mulut mak dia membebel. hiihihi.
or if let say dia nak jugak touch something, i will let him touch it once. kira macam bagi dia puas hati. and so far dia ok lah, tak da lah macam meraung nak barang tu jugak ke apa.
tapi tu lah, he is just 9 months young, belum cukup ilmu di dada nak uji kesabaran mama dia. eheheheheh.
and memang itu yang i perhati what my sil buat to her kids. if you say NO or DONT or apa yang negative, give them a good explanation to it. bukan yang merepek yang tak make sense, because kids nowadays dah pandai kot? like, jangan pergi sana, gelap, ada hantu.
kompem budak tu pegi jugak. hihihi
=-.
.-= shila´s last blog post ..Good times, great friends
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salam mommies,
i also did the ‘pekak badak’ teknik! it helps me to calm me down & to send a message to my kiddies they don’t get things by throwing tantrums.
.-= nelcyndana´s last blog post ..Sharing tips : Jigsaw Puzzle for our kids =-.
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sitisifir10 Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 11:42 AM
see….saya ada geng lah!!
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Alhamdulillah anak sulung sy dah 2 thn 7 bln dan dia masih boleh dikawal. Selalunya bila kat public dan dia nak sesuatu….cepat2 alihkan perhatian dia kat benda lain. So dia akan terlupa benda yg dia nak tadi.
Adik still setahun lebih so still tak banyak kerenah……selamba jer…..tak kisah.
Ada one time kat shopping kompleks si kakak mengamuk nak itu ini ngan ayah dia(coz dah penat kut), diorg berdua kat dlm troli shopping tu tetiba adik tampar jer pipi kakak coz dia rimas kut kakak dia asyik menjerit jer….after that kakak terus diam.
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Saya pun mula terasa bila anak dah umur setahun ni, mcm2 ragam..lately sangat suka tarik rambut saya..sampai sakit2 pening kepala ni..mmg xle handle kadang2
.-= dbalkis´s last blog post ..Contest Miela77 Aksi Baby BerCD’ing =-.
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I use distraction method most of the time, though at times ada jugak la guna NO, Jangan, DONT! but it doesn’t work too well, buat penat hilang suara je, hati pon mula la mcm nak membara, esp. if in public.
Most of the time when my son buat perangai, I just don’t give a damn apa org sekeliling nak pikir..I concentrate solely on trying to calm him down, tapi mmg menguji kesabaran, kdg2 tu rasa mcm malas nak keluar rumah dah, masa dia tgh buat perangai tu terpikir aku ni patut duduk je senyap2 kat rumah, but selalunya dia mengamuk if penat past his nap time or nak susu, otherwise mmg dia suka je if dpt keluar jln2
.-= MQ´s last blog post ..An Only Child? =-.
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kalau kat rumah, memang selalu buat-buat pekak. tp kalau dah sampai tahap tak boleh control, husband selalu kurung diorang dlm bilik as a punishment. sometimes it’s good if we can keep a cane at home. bukan untuk memukul, tapi just untuk intimidate diorang. if we are outside, i think distraction is the most suitable method. ape pun, ada anak ni memang challenging la. me selalu je transform jadi monster! kikiki
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AdD Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 10:29 AM
Setuju point no 4:- Don’t forget their nap and eating time…
Budak2 ni selalu buat perangai kalau diaorang ngantuk, lapar, xselesa je… xde sbb lain.. kalau dah melalak kat public tu dah smpi masa tido or dah time nak susu or tukar nappy…
So pandai2 lah rancang time nak kuar tu.. make sure everythings ready… Kalau dah xleh handle jugak, paham2 jelah dia nak suh balik umah lah tu… Balik lah apa lagi…
.-= AdD´s last blog post ..Alhamdulillah!!!! Normal =-.
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anak sy br sethn+, now da pandai tantrum bile papa dia xde. papa dia offshore, so sgt jarang ade kat rumah. skang ni papa dia xde, so slalulah tantrum especially bila i x attend him,because doin something else. urghhh… sgt menguji kesabaran okeh.. tp, sgt relief bile papa dia ade kat umah!
.-= shue´s last blog post ..terkenang-kenang, rasa nak menitis air mata =-.
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