How To Deal With Curious Children

“What’s this?”
“Why cannot go there?”
“What are you doing?”
“Where is Bapak?”
“But, why?”

Children explore, develop sense of curiosity and are inquisitive from the moment they’re born. From analysing the five long moving apparitus that seemed to be stucked to their palm; going for a crawling adventure under the dining table; to wondering about an aeroplane flying in the sky.

Children feed on their curiosity like my hunger for a nice juicy plate of char kuey teow. They ask and they’re not satisfied until we give them an answer. These naturally inquisitive little creatures want an answer. They demand an answer. And it is our responsibility to provide a relief for their curiosity.

You would think that any answer would do, just to get them off your back. Just to stop them from disturbing your cooking time. Just to have a rest without them screaming down your neck. But as parents, we have to be fair. Just ANY answer won’t do.

I love Bill Watterson’s comic ‘Calvin and Hobbes’. Calvin is one of the best, most funniest example of a super-curious child. It gets funnier to have a dad like Calvin’s who give him really outrageous answers to his questions!

Q. How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn’t they have color film back then?
A. Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It’s just that the world was black and white then. The world didn’t turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
Q. But then why are old paintings in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn’t artists have painted it that way?
A. Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.
Q. But… But how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn’t their paints have been shades of gray back then?
A. Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the ’30s.
Q. So why didn’t old black and white photos turn color too?
A. Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?

Grab a comic book to get a lighter dose of dealing with a curious child!

The next time you child ask you a question, remember these points:

1. Most important of all – Listen
2. Don’t ignore the topic because he or she will need an answer that makes sense to a child’s view of the world
3. Use easy words so that he or she will stay interested in our answers
4. Be warned – your answer may make them more curious or puzzled. This may lead to another question, and another question – until they are satisfied. Be patient!
5. You could always ask him or her back. “What do you think that is?”, or “Where do you think Bapak is?” Children remembers, so never under-estimate their power of memory! That is why some kids learn to speak English by watching the television. They watch, they listen, they understand. They pick up, and they remember.
6. Ask him or her back for assurance of understanding. “Ok?” or repeat the child’s question back to him or her and listen to their answer
7. You could extend his curiousity by showing your child more. For example, if your child ask what fruit is this at a supermarket, once home, show your child a picture of the fruit tree, or discuss animals that eat that fruit
8. Buy a picture book so that he or she can learn more
9. Later on, you could gently guide them towards finding the answers themselves, without always providing it for them. Children need to be exposed to the tools of thinking, to come up with their own solution, and develop their problem solving skills

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. one cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. it is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. i have no special talents. i am only passionately curious!”

~Albert Einstein

The Don’ts

1. Don’t lie, be truthful. Think carefully about telling your child anything that is actually untrue, because you want them to be able to trust you and go to you again for answers and guidance. For example, just because you don’t want your child to go to a dark alley next to a restaurant, don’t just say, “There’s a ghost there”, or “Police will catch you!” Just tell your child truthfully – that it’s dangerous and there might be bad guys around. Respect your child with the truth.
2. Don’t make something up if you don’t know the real answer. Children ask because they want to learn, and if you tell them the wrong thing, they will live with the wrong knowledge!
3. Don’t avoid answering by distracting them with other things. Their curiousity might double the second time around, and you have to face a bigger challenge!
4. Don’t get anxious if your child ask too many questions – it’s a sign of a working brain, and it’s a great sign! We don’t want our child to be a vegetable, do we?

“I keep six honest serving-men,
they taught me all I knew;
their names are What and Why and When
and How and Where and Who.”

~Rudyard Kipling

Kids learn everywhere, anywhere and time is of no essence! However, the best places to feed curiousity are as follows:

1. The zoo is the number one place for curious kids. Hundreds of animals, their activities, noises they make, places they sleep in, and the food they eat.
2. The supermarket is also a great place to ignite curiousity. Endless isles filled with tons of new things to learn about.
3. Your own home can be a war-zone for these curious critters too! Every inch of the house could be under scrutiny – from the front lawn, to the edge of the toilet! “What is this insect sitting on the grass?” or “What are you doing?” when Daddy shaves his stubble. He might even want to touch the razor, or the hot iron. Be prepared!
4. You may think the car is just a small space for children to be curious in – but cars take them on rides, and boy, the ride would take them on a journey filled with thousands of curiosity! When your car stopped at a red light, he might ask why, and you should know that it’s time to teach him about traffic light!
5. For older kids, the museum or science centers are perfect place for them to pose questions, as well as gain an abundant of knowledge

Can you think of any other places?

Speaking of activities, remember that whatever you do might be a curious thing to your child, like cooking, washing the car or ironing.

1. Invite them into your activities instead of shooing them off. I know it’s easier to just chase them away but remember, they ask because they want to learn. And what they learn will become their precious knowledge!
2. Describe what you’re doing. Tell them step by step. “First, Mak put the banana. Then, Mak squash the banana. Next, Mak put some flour.”
3. You can ask your child again about something that you had already told him or her.
4. You can let your child get involved in your activity. Let your child scrub the tyre with the sponge, or let your child help squash the bananas.
5. The next time you do the same activity, let your child tell you what you are supposed to do, and see how much he or she remembers, and how much he or she understands. You’d be surprised!

“Sometimes we forget that children have just arrived on the earth. They are a little like aliens, coming into beings as bundles of energy and pure potential, here on some exploratory mission and they are just trying to learn what it means to be human.”

~ From the movie ‘Martian Child’

Your children is just beginning to explore being human, living in this world filled with wonders. It excites them, it scares them, it amazes them, it puzzles them – and you need to be there to tell him or her that it is okay not to know everything, and to make them confident in learning new things. Do not let the fire of enthusiasm die within them, and keep helping them through this inquisitive journey of thousand discoveries.

If you’re not sure of the answer, it’s fine too. Do not feel inadequate, or think of yourself as a bad parent for not knowing the answer. You need to let your son or daughter learn that it is okay to be wrong, or to be stumped without an answer. Then the adventure of finding the right one would benefit you both.

I’m sure you have tons of funny stories about dealing with your own child’s curiosity. Blog those little anecdotes. Write about them for future reference. It would help other parents deal if the same questions are posed by their own children. It would certainly be an amusement once they grow up and read back on their tales of being inquisitive.

On a lighter note, mommies, if you’re not sure of the answer, just say, “Hmm. that’s a good question.” or “Go ask daddy.” – that works for me sometimes!

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